Long Weekend


Out in the garden with the netbook. Barely able to see the keys, Finally succeeded in getting online.

Tried earlier with Aunt anxiously following me with my fleece over her arm.

No joy.

Though Aunt became quite expert at seeing how few bars we had.

We tried again in Sainsbury’s car park.

No joy.

We are looking for nursing homes. We feel the hospital has already made its decision and no matter what we say, Mother will not be allowed home.

Her leg is fractured above the knee.

The discharge plan will begin before we know if she can mobilise or not.

We feel angry, betrayed and helpless.


Saturday night in the garden, no internet connection, exchanging texts with family and friends as Not Cat hunts moths and insects.

Thank goodness for Not Cat. My little ginger stressbuster.

And Aunt’s.

Yesterday he was scared and unsure of her. Today, he was lying next to her loving having his chin scratched. He greeted her warmly when we came back to mother’s flat after being at the hospital.

She was delighted.

We are both drained by the week’s events. And trying to prop each other up. Aunt is perilously close to tears much of the time. As am I.

Mother is in plaster. The surgeon reckons she may never walk again. Apparently the x-rays of her hips mean she shouldn’t have been able to walk for some time.

Mother wanted to get out of bed and out of the hospital today. Bedrest is going to be a challenge for everyone.

I am cheering her on in my head. I want these pessimists who have written her off several times this year already proved wrong yet again.

But it’ll be a hollow victory. The pressure is on to agree to move her to a care home before we know if she can mobilise or not.

I’m too tired to write about it tonight, and my head is whirling.

It just doesn’t feel good.


Back in London. We had a family pow-wow in the hospital caff this morning; Aunt, Nephew and Niece-Out-Law, Me.

Not many smiles. Though Niece-Out-Law’s face when nephew mentioned that the visiting cats might have fleas made me regret not having my camera turned on.

Mother was not eating her lunch when we went to see her. She had eaten her breakfast and the ward does seem to be on the ball about her nutrition, if not her teeth. She has removed the steristrips from her forehead and started work on her plastercast.

Fortunately, her good manners and her habit of calling everyone Darling seems to have endeared her to staff. Not so the lady in the next bay who was shouting. Mother is also anxious to get up and help people, and worried she should be sharing her meals with others. The ward is quiet at the moment, but we were told it will be busier tomorrow. Not good for Mother’s agitation.

The senior staff nurse came by with some extra calories and we all had a long chat with her, telling her bits about Mother. I’ve got to write and email something tomorrow. I did it yesterday, but managed to delete it.

Now for a glass of wine and a bath.

I feel I’m going to need every ounce of strength and resistance over the next few weeks.

11 thoughts on “Long Weekend

  1. Good that you, Aunt and Not Cat are there for eachother and your mum. I hope you find a place which will, as much as possible, suit everyone and enable your mum to be safe and happy. Perhaps somewhere closer to you? Wishing you sweet dreams and a fresh, bright morning!

    • As I said to you on the ‘phone Sue, the one we looked at is nearly £1000 pw, and not sure if Mother could stay when there are no more funds. Nightmare.
      But thanks for the good wishes. 🙂

  2. I am shedding tears, Isobel, a mixture of concern for you and your Mother (I have become fond of her in cyber-space through your writing) and recent memories of mine. Keep cheering her on; I will too.

    You are a strong and compassionate person. You are doing your absolute best. I will be thinking of you both. Please keep us informed, when you can.

    Bilby xx

  3. Good to hear from you Isobel, we have all been thinking about you. Its a trying time for you all, I know, I had similar concerns with my mother. My mother ended up in a nursing home, it was a wonderful place, and she was cared for far better than I ever could. We did know the place, my mother herself had visited her friend there herself, so knew the staff too. The relief I felt when I saw her so settled, was a great comfort. All the residents were spoiled rotten actually, it was a joy to visit. I’m on my phone just now, and my battery is running low, I forgot to charge it last night, so I’ll say night night for now.

    • The question is how she would cope with yet another change. All the advice for people with dementia is to keep them in a familiar environment. That’s why hospital is such a nightmare.
      Maybe in the right place, I don’t know.

  4. I think you’re going to need that strength too. I hope you manage to find the best place for her. If you can, it might give you some of the support and reassurance that you need xxx

    • I’m not sure I can continue much longer as we are, that’s for sure.. But I am not convinced yet that such a move is in Mother’s best interests.
      Oh and I think Not Cat has Bengal glitter on his tummy!

  5. Such lovely words from Bilby, thoroughly deserved. Thinking of you too, Isobel. You are an amazing daughter. You have done and continue to do, your best, emotionally exhausting though it is.

    I’d so glad you have NotCat to be there for you at the moment. There are some very nice nursing homes out there. As Pseu would no doubt agree, the best people to ask for confidential recommendations are GPs.

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