I can’t say we have got very far since I posted last night.

My chances of getting away in a couple of weeks for a break seem remote. I’m obviously not happy about it.

Not just because I’ve been looking forward to catching up with Cousin and meeting the new dog, but also in the wake of Olga’s death a family reunion is being planned to coincide with my visit. I know Mother’s brother and sister in Belfast will want to talk to me about her, and I’d welcome their thoughts. Telephone conversations are not the same.

I also feel that I am perilously close to breaking point, and that’s not going to help anyone, least of all Mother.

At the same time, it’ll be very difficult to go and leave Mother in hospital.

So I think I’m going to have to just accept that I shan’t be going, and hope that Mother’s future will be settled in a way with which we all feel comfortable.

10 thoughts on “Monday

    • Thanks Pseu, but I’m being selfish and rather silly.
      Mother needs me more than I need to get away. I’m feeling sorry for myself tonight, but i’ll get over it.
      We have seen the two nursing homes in the county nearest where Mother lives. One is a soul destroying, the other better. I need to speak to someone in social services who can advise me if there would be problems if Mother moved to another county. we need to let her debts accrue against the value of her home. Then I don’t know what happens if the debts build up to over that value. At Β£1000 pw that won’t take long, as she already has four years of care charges accruing.

  1. Be kind to yourself too Isobel. Don’t miss meals, play with NotCat and take good strenuous walks. If you have to postpone the visit, you’re doing it for the best reasons.

    • Miss meals? Me? No, you are thinking of someone else!
      I’ve been playing with Not Cat until a few minutes ago.
      Not many strenuous walks, though that’d be nice. I cycled to and from work very slowly today.
      But have paid my boat insurance and renewed my library book.
      A hot bath, lavender oil and an early night I think.

      • That sounds good. Hope it proved relaxing. Yes I was thinking of someone else – guilty of projecting my own experiences on to you, Isobel – always a mistake πŸ™‚ You reminded me I have two library books overdue!

  2. What a difficult situation, you have my sincere sympathy.

    Regarding practical matters, you need to find out what happens when your mother’s money runs out. I suspect that the state will provide, but it may not be what you want for your mother. It’s a bit of a lottery, I suspect. Even in the private sector the standards, as you have found out, vary enormously.

    What is the prognosis re mobility?

    Are there any charities you could approach?

    You seem to be indicating that she cannot go home, at least not in the short term, but it may be cheaper to budget for some sort of extra care for her in her own environment in the longer term. I have no idea of comparative costs but it may be worth checking.

    You may well have thought of all these things, but I am just thinking aloud.

    I know you just want the best for your mother, and it seems that there is no easy fix.

    You sound as though you are ahead of the curve, but things change so rapidly, it’s not easy to make plans.

    Wish I could do more, but thinking of you both.


    • Thanks Sophie, but I don’t think it’d be a great break worrying about mother in hospital anyway.
      We shall see. i have my flights booked, so if I can go, I shall.

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