Bah Humbug!

My seasonal cheer has taken a dent.
I am irritated.

I want to get a microsim for my new toy, my ipad. My treat as I didn’t go away for a proper holiday in 2011, and that would have cost more. As I don’t expect to be using it on the hoof a tremendous amount, I first opted for a top up pay-as-you-go option from Vodafone. Only to learn that they never work.

Back to the drawing board, and an option for very low use, £3 pcm rolling thirty day contract, also with Vodafone.
Great. Super. Let’s go for that.

I failed the credit check.

Some mistake, I told the people in the shop, Carphone Warehouse. I’m not in debt.
And then started my own non-festive version of the Twelve days of Christmas:

Day One, contract refused because of failed credit check. Staff member looks at me as though I have some fatal and very contagious disease. He wants me out of the shop as quickly as possible.

Day Two, joined Credit Expert for thirty day free trial to see my report as advised by the shop. My report says I have a better credit rating than 71% of the population.

Day Three, having failed to see how the gladsome news received on Day Two changes the refusal, since apparently Carphone Warehouse has already seen this, I email Credit expert. They promise to reply shortly.

Day Four, the promised reply having failed to materialise I search for and find a telephone number. I call.

Day Five, armed with the advice given by the nice man from Credit Expert, I head back to the shop. an equally nice woman tries, as advised, to do a manual check. She has no instructions how to do this. She calls Head Office. She is told that it is Vodafone, not Carphone Warehouse, who has spurned my cash.

Day Six, I call Vodafone, and find there is not an option for ‘if you have been refused a contract, press xx now’. I speak to someone who passes me on to the New Connection Service. Again, a very nice person. She promises to contact the Escalations Service, and tells me I should hear within forty-eight hours. I take her name, just in case.

Day Seven, today, the Escalations Service not having contacted me, and it now being nearer seventy two than forty-eight hours, I call again. Fortunately, I had also thought to ask the helpful woman for a direct number. I speak to a very nice man. He emails the helpful woman who replies that the Escalations Service has considered my request, but the refusal is upheld. The man says he will try again. He calls me back to say that I have been declined as my score is too low. This decision is final. I ask what my score needs to be, since I know that 71% of the population has a lower score, and £3 pcm is hardly bankruptcy territory. He does not know.

So, here I am with my enviable credit rating being refused a contract with Vodafone, there is apparently no right of appeal, nothing I can do.

Credit Expert suggested the problem might be that I don’t have debts, so they can’t see how good I am at paying them off.

It’s all very well for Polonius to tell Laertes, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be,” but he didn’t need a microsim for his ipad. If Credit Expert is right, I should be out spending money on plastic like it is going out of fashion. I’ve signed up for a course in the New Year, £143. Over £7000 left on my credit card.

I have contacted a newspaper column who got my money back for me on a different occasion, and I am hoping the team there will be able to get this sorted.

Merry Christmas!