I drop a kiss on Mother’s head to say goodbye. Today she has not recognised me. I arrived early and walked up the hill from the station. We spent time together. I cleaned, trimmed and filed her nails. She recited The Lord’s My Shepherd with me as I worked. Afterwards, she worked the handcream into her skin, and as the smell of lavender filled the room, lifted her fingers to her nose, inhaling and smiling. After lunch I read to her; the old favourites – Wordsworth’s Daffodils, Masefield’s Sea Fever, Smart’s My Cat Jeoffrey.
I was there for a meeting about her care. At the last minute I called the Alzheimer’s Society, who also help with people like Mother who have vascular dementia. I was lucky; the woman who has been emailing me and speaking to me on the ‘phone since summer was free and happy to attend. I was so glad of her presence and support.
Diminishing Futures
Isobel (and Cat)'s Blog 
Delicate. Personal. Private.
Thank you for sharing this lovely quiet moment.
Sounds like a bittersweet visit. Glad you had some willing and knowledgeable support.
Yes, she was very good.
All visits are bittersweet now. That’s a very good phrase to describe them.
Seems that your mother enjoyed the lavender and poetry, Isobel. I’m glad the Altzheimer’s Society is proving useful to you. By chance we have one of their representatives coming to the surgery tomorrow to give a talk about their work.
I’ll be interested to know what you think. Just having her there was good today, because the professionals like to talk to each other, and having her beside me meant I felt confident about speaking up and interrupting.
you are in my thoughts, Isobel….
Thinking of you Isobel – and remembering my own similar journey with my Mom.
Pam
Thank-you, both of you. i appreciate your good thoughts.
Lovely moments, even though she didn’t recognise you.
How lovely that she could enjoy the fragrance of lavender. Your description of your visit is poignant. Such a hard road to travel. I am glad you had someone for support.
Tough stuff Isobel, how wonderful to be able the share poetry and you will always remember the lavender.
Your Mom seemed to have enjoyed your visit Isobel and I think it is wonderful that she loved the lavender hand cream. Sometimes it is just the small things. I am also happy to hear that you had someone there for support that you were comfortable with and that she was helpful to you.
I hope the meeting went well and you got the outcome you need xxx
Thank-you.
Usually we use lavender oil, but this is quite a strong scented had cream I got her and she does like it. Lavender is a bit of a family favourite!
I am wondering how I can get the home to use lavender with her more often. I think I shall buy her some nice eau de toilette from Crabtree and Evelyn. She used to like it on her aroma stone, but I don’t have much hope of that happening.
Lovely post Isobel.
… but there is light at the end of the journey 🙂 Thank you for the share!