In the last few weeks I’ve had quite a number of cards offering condolences for Mother’s death. There have been letters too, some handwritten personal ones, others official. Things have improved. I remember Mother bursting into tears when she got a letter saying my father’s council tax fee had been revised as he had died just seventeen days into the new financial year. The letter was blunt and cold. The formal letters now all open with condolences and the wording is careful.
However, I received one letter today that caught me by surprise. It opened with the usual formula, but instead of Mother’s name, I was condoled over the death of Mrs R, whose demise was a couple of weeks earlier than Mother’s. I checked the top of the letter, yes, it was definitely addressed to me. A mystery.
I called the number and got through to a man I shall call Ron. It’s not his real name, but it’ll serve. I explained the scenario and gave Ron the reference. He checked the details and found me listed as next of kin. I began to be intrigued; could this be a long lost relative who I should now never have the chance to meet. I said as much to Ron. He agreed it would be unlikely. Unlikely hardly seemed the adequate word, and I said so. “Maybe she left you a video,” he said. I was warming to Ron. I hadn’t expected humour from this ‘phone call, and here was an official entering into the spirit (that was an unintentional pun, but I’m leaving it there) of things.
The plot thickened when Ron told me Mrs R had lived in Canada. I have lots of relations in Canada but I have met very few of them. This was getting exciting. Ron tracked her address down to Winnipeg. I tried and failed to get a map of Canada in my head. Most of my relations are in and around Toronto. By this time Ron and I were almost writing the screenplay and ready to sell the rights. If there were a bidding war, he could give up his work in pensions, and I could have a ground floor flat with two bedrooms, a utility room, a large kitchen and a walled garden somewhere close to where I am now.
Of course it was a clerical error. Someone had transposed some numbers and Mrs R had become, albeit briefly, connected to me. I hope the next person to get the letter about her pension (nothing owed, nothing owing) really is her relative. For a few minutes, Mrs R, her life, her death and her personal history seemed a story of fantasy and romance in the June air.
I think she deserves some flowers.
Oh gosh what a bizarre happening.
I still think Ron and I should write the screenplay!
I think it would best fit a R4 slot!
I’d never get a flat with a utility room from a R4 fee!
You had better get cracking then if it’s going to make Hollywood next year!
No rush, it can wait a while. 🙂
Now that is an unsettling thing to happen, Isobel! Time for a glass of something fortifying and an extra cuddle for Mister B!
I can have the glass, but MasterB is out gallivanting. I shall get him in shortly, but I like to think he’s burning off the calories and regaining his figure. 🙂
It was disconcerting at first; something that didn’t compute, but as Ron dug around the files and gave me snippets of information about her, this name in the letter began to become a person. I’m quite sorry I never met her.
I was rather more unsettled by another official and another ‘phone call who stated that Mother had died 1st April. “It was the 1st May,” I said. “Are you sure? We have 1st April here.”
Ah. Clearly a person of tact and discretion…
🙂 Quite.
I’m glad you tracked down an answer, even if not the one we hoped for. It was all going a bit Agatha Christie there for a moment!
Now which one did you hope for? A voice from beyond the grave, sending me on a quest… 🙂
Yes the mystery relative, revealed upon their death, with a bequest!
A legacy would be nicer!
Eeww
How unsettling! I’m glad you and Ron got it sorted
I have to give the credit to Ron really. I just stayed on the line and invented various scenarios. Another official might have been starchier.
Now that was different!
Yes. It’s not often that an official letter leads to entertainment. 🙂
You could have been on Heir Hunters!
You joke, but I know someone who was. In fact that is the only reason I know of the programme. 🙂
What an error, what strange connection! I’m sorry about your loss…
Thank-you Seyi.
You really couldn’t write it could you! Brilliant interlude as you say!
Yes, unexpectedly entertaining.
What a tale……..the stuff that mystery novels are made of! The roses are lovely for the mysterious Mrs. R though.
Pam
It does beg a story doesn’t it.
When I receive anything in the mail and there’s an clerical error, it’s never anything so entertaining. Usually something that would cost me money if I didn’t get it straight! At least it was entertaining for you for a little while!
JuneK
Well, I get those too! But yes, I didn’t expect any entertainment when I called the number, so this was a bonus.
how odd at the same time, three cheers for official bureaucrats who have a sense of humour 🙂
🙂
Very interesting Isobel and I have to say I was thinking you could certainly write a story of fantasy and romance in this June air and my June could use some of your beautiful writing. I enjoyed this post and Mrs. R’s roses.
I may just have to do it! I was thinking today that I should do a 100 word challenge. I could do with a bit of a creative writing jag. 🙂
There’ll be a little story tomorrow. 🙂
It does make a good story. I can see this story unfolding on a stage.
And I’m glad the official letters have improved with their tone. My best friend lost her father when she was 16 and the letters she and her mother received were horrendous. How people can be so insensitive is appalling.
Yes, they used to be very bald and insensitive.