Hands

How I love this photo. Nephew and Mother holding hands.

Hands

Hands


It’s the last photograph I took of Mother, just under twelve hours before she died.
Today marks two months. That doesn’t seem possible. Two months.
Mandela isn’t helping. Every time I hear a news bulletin about his progress, my heart contracts and I weep. It sounds so familiar. Poor man, he must be chock full of medication to keep him alive. That makes me feel better that we said one course of antibiotics and no more. Let Mother die pain free, with dignity, and not an agonising slow death, weakened and confused.
Not that I wouldn’t have her alive now. I would. Oh yes, I would. Let me hold her hands again, see her smile when she knows I am with her, feel her fingers squeeze mine to the rhythm of the poem I am reading, put her arms around me when I ask for a hug.

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16 thoughts on “Hands

  1. *hugs* I know the feeling, my mom passed away three years ago this month. It feels like yesterday. She did not want life support or any extra measures and lost her battle with leukemia after 3 long years. I can only hope others would take the time to discuss their end of life wishes with others beforehand.

    • Thank-you, and my best wishes to you. Knowing we allowed our mothers the dignity of a death without intrusion is a small comfort, but a valuable one.
      My mother nearly died a couple of years ago, and that gave us the opportunity to think, talk and agree on what her end of life care should look like. I also visited the undertaker, and that visit helped immensely when it came to planning her funeral in May.

  2. It is a beautiful photo Isobel. I started reading my journal as you posted about your Mother, I journaled to my Mom after she died and there are so many entries with the same wishes you have at the end of this post. Hugs to you Isobel and thinking of you.

      • The laptop…yes
        New phone…yes
        Rest of it…no

        Don’t be sorry…it was good crying. It made me feel good emotions. Hope you are doing okay Isobel. We all think of you often here.

        • I am glad to know some of it is sorted, but it must be taking up a lots yr time and attention.
          The photograph somehow conveys such love and trust, and knowing that she knew she was loved and with us so shortly before she died is worth more than all the riches in the world.

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