The Coronavirus Diaries, 26th April 2021

Happy birthday Celia! I hope it was a good day.

We saw each other this morning when Celia came to collect her birthday presents. One of them she knew about: a piece of wood from our cherry tree which has sprouted fungi, one of her passions. The others were a surprise. No sports car this year, instead a bird feeder and a gadget for opening cans, bottles, jars.

We also saw each other this evening in her garden. We were a group of five with nibbles and three bottles of fizz. It was great. The crows, magpies and wrens entertained us, the chat was good, the company, it goes without saying, was excellent.

I spent much of the day drafting a reply to some aggressive emails from my bossy neighbour, but by the end of the day I think I probably shan’t send it. Why engage? She is writing nonsense and writing it in her usual illiterate, incoherent style. I have already made my mind up to sell up and move, my energies are required for other things.

That feels a lot better than engaging in a series of messages with someone who loves conflict and confrontation. I really believe she is not well. She’s a bully with an established track record someone who enjoys asserting power without responsibility, probably a narcissist, a sad apology of a human being. The less I have to do with her the better. I expect when I let her know I’m selling she’ll see it as a success, that she has pushed me out. That’s not the story, though her toxicity has had some influence, I am looking forward to being somwhere else, not simply escaping from where I am.

You can probably tell that I am still working this out, still prodding my feelings and thoughts to gauge my emotional temperature. So the For Sale sign may not appear for a while, but I am now confident that come it will.

Stay safe. Keep well. Home is where the heart is.

6 thoughts on “The Coronavirus Diaries, 26th April 2021

  1. It sure sounds like you are thoroughly enjoying your time in London with your friends. It is always hard to move away and have to establish new relationships, but it sounds like you are quite capable of talking with people and that is the beginning of friendships. I am thoroughly enjoying seeing friends here and being able to get together indoors because everyone has been vaccinated. It is still too cold to sit outdoors especially in the evening. Today we did stand in our garage and talk with neighbors who came by to pick up a chair we were giving away and Connie could use.

    • We are a sociable bunch. Hot water bottles, blankets and garden stoves are still being deployed. It’s sunny in the day and warm so long as the wind isn’t blowing. We haven’t had any April showers, in fact I can’t recall when we last had rain, so I suspect may will be wet. It is easier to socialise in the cold than the rain!

  2. Many happy returns of the day, Celia, from the extreme left coast. Were there chips amongst the nibbles?
    Not engaging people who are looking for a fight is hard for some of us – me particularly. But you are so right that the reward is rarely there – though making draft responses can be therapeutic. I’m sure your neighbor will worry more about who you might sell to than about your eventual departure.

    • Yes It was useful writing it down as it made it clear to me, but then I realised I was already her response. She is not great at the written word, fires back responses without reflecting, likes to annotate letters in red, and between the mangled English, anger and incoherence it is not great reading.
      I think she will jump for joy when I move out and do her best to dominate whoever I sell to.

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